2008年10月11日 星期六

BILL GATES' SPEECH TO MT. WHITNEY HIGH SCHOOL in Visalia, California.

BILL GATES' SPEECH TO MT. WHITNEY HIGH SCHOOL in Visalia, California.

To anyone with kids of any age, here's some advice. Bill Gates recently gave a speech at a High School about 11 things they did not and will not learn in school. He talks about how feel-good, politically correct teachings created a generation of kids with no concept of reality and how this concept set them up for failure in the real world.

Rule 1: Life is not fair -- get used to it!

Rule 2: The world won't care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.

Rule 3: You will NOT make $60,000 a year right out of high school. You won't be a vice-president with a car phone until you earn both.

Rule 4: If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss.

Rule 5: Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your Grandparents had a different word for burger flipping -- they called it opportunity.

Rule 6: If you mess up, it's not your parents' fault, so don't whine about your mistakes, learn from them.

Rule 7: Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you thought you are. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parent's generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.

Rule 8: Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life HAS NOT. In some schools they have abolished failing grades and they'll give you as MANY TIMES as you want to get the right answer. This doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.

Rule 9: Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you FIND YOURSELF. Do that on your own time.

Rule 10: Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.

Rule 11: Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.  

ID ten T error

I was having trouble with my computer. So I called Richard, the 11 year old next door whose bedroom looks like Mission Control, and asked him to come over.

Richard clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem.

As he was walking away, I called after him, 'So, what was wrong? '

He replied, 'It was an ID ten T error.'

I didn't want to appear stupid, but nonetheless inquired, 'An, ID ten T error? What's that?  In case I need to fix it again.'

Richard grinned  'Haven't you ever heard of an ID ten T error before?''

No,' I replied.

'Write it down,' he said, 'and I think you'll figure it out.'

So I wrote it down:       I D 1 0 T

I used to like the little shit.

 

2008年10月4日 星期六

Why do men die first

Why do men die first

Why do men die first? This is a question that has gone unanswered for
centuries, but, now we know. It requires a bit of explanation, first:

If you put a woman on a pedestal and try to protect her from the rat
race ... you're a male chauvinist. If you stay home and do the
housework ... you're a pansy.

If you work too hard ... there's never any time for her. If you don't
work enough ... you're a good-for-nothing bum.

If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay ... this is
exploitation. If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay ...
you should get off your lazy behind and find something better.

If you get a promotion ahead of her ... that is favoritism. If she
gets a job ahead of you ... its equal opportunity.

If you mention how nice she looks ... its sexual harassment. If you
keep quiet ... its male indifference.

If you cry ... you're a wimp. If you don't ... you're an
insensitive
bastard.

If you make a decision without consulting her ... you're a chauvinist.
If she makes a decision without consulting you, she's a liberated
woman.

If you ask her to do something she doesn't enjoy ... that's
domination. If SHE asks you ... it's a favor.

If you appreciate the female form and frilly underwear ... you're a
pervert. If you don't ... you're gay.

If you like a woman to shave her legs and keep in shape ... you're
sexist. If you don't ... you're unromantic.

If you try to keep yourself in shape ... you're vain. If you don't
... you're a slob.

If you buy her flowers ... you're after something. If you don't ...
you're not thoughtful.

If you're proud of your achievements ... you're full of yourself. If
you don't ... you're not ambitious.

If she has a headache ... she's tired. If you have a headache ... you
don't love her anymore.

If you want it too often ... you're oversexed. If you don't ... there
must be someone else.

Why do men die first? Because they want to.

2008年7月12日 星期六

Knees that bend don't shake!
If your problem is bigger than your GOD,
then you are serving the wrong god.
The one who kneels to God, can Stand up to anything!
The shortest distance between a problem and a solution, is the distance between your knees and the ground.